Month: February 2013
“You know how it is? These house chores are so not my thing” I say this to myself all around the day, and I guess, its the only thing, that saves me from blabbing insanely about it to my mom. Blabbing to mommy, could lead to all sorts of hazards ranging from some sarcastic comment, to probably a slap or something, though I have not gone to those heights yet 😀
Well yea, so I was talking about house chores and TAADA I present you:
One of my worse fear is indeed this!! I can do all the stuff but this is not my thing and I totally hate ironing. My worse fear is IRONING!!! I do all that I can to run away from it and try to keep away from my laundry drawer, until it is superfluous with freshly wash clothes and my mom couldn’t resist the temptation to shout at me, 12 times a day at least! 😦
Now you see it is not her fault, because my sister and sister-in-law are like this:
So my poor mama thinks, that this is how it must be for every girl, and thus I continue to suffer in pure misery.
In the end, in my defense, because God knows I want one soon or I will crash, Dear fairy godmother if you are reading this piece, SEND someone, anyone, to do my ironing for meh!!!
It’s fine where I’m sitting, and the light filtering through the open window provides some relief but albeit, a very short-lived one. I know they will come, and like always I am totally unprepared. I don’t know what bring them to me, or when was the first time it happened, but there they are nonetheless. They are usually silent, just staring at me, all the time. I can feel it now, they are watching me, as I think about them, and they will haunt me for long now. I look at them often beseechingly, and often try to implore them to answer me, but it never happens. I can see it in their eyes, this look of remorse, pity, and inferiority as they look towards me. There gazes are so belittling, that I almost flinch inwardly, but it never changes their stance towards me. I know how less they think of me, and how unimportant I am to them.
I tried everything but things never change or turn for good. It’s almost agonizing how they are always judging me and nothing is ever enough for them; the love, care or concern is like nothing to them and their selfishness and cruelty knows no bound. To them, my existence is nothing but a conveniently usable object. I loathe myself for being so weak, to let myself be so vulnerable. But then, something is changing inside the room. I almost feel a certain warmness wrapping itself around me, and I break this hypnotic spell of gloom and look towards the open window with all the strength that remains inside me.
There in the light filtering through the window, is a figure almost invisible, but it is there nonetheless. It lures me towards itself and at a very close distance I stop and look at it. It speaks to me “I am your strength, and rely on me, for I am your only hope. Remember, never to feed them” it points to the glaring angry eyes which have perceptibly weaken in their appearance “for they have learned to feed on your insecurities. They are nothing but a figment of your imagination, and they are only as harsh and unyielding, as strongly you pay attention to them. They are nothing, and remember, stay strong. As it goes, your world is you and not them. Your subconscious mind build these stories, build a whole lot of lies and conspiracies that it wants you to believe. Come out of these complex webs of gloomy thoughts and live in the moment.” I see it going away, vanishing and I ask in a whisper “Who are you?” and it smiles at me and says “why, I am you.”