funny

Nightmares

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Annoyed, that was how I felt as I came back to my senses. It is awkward how downright crazy you can act in your dreams, and how bizarre-ingly true they can seem as you lie in your own little world from whence you can’t escape, much like Katniss. Later, someone in the same room would tell you how you were trashing your arms around and yelling incoherently (for which I am so thankful because I might have babbled something about a crush or stuff) and there is no height of embarassment but yet a subdued bitter sweet feeling, because I am more agressive and confident to react atleast in artifically created environments like divergents  (or who knows maybe I was demanding to be let out of that crazy hell).

Sometimes I do wonder, was it worth 16 years of education to warrant a life long free membership to nightmares about all the exams which I did somehow ace in real life and all the times I was never even late for a single exam or how my prep was spot-on? Is this some evil karma from the heart of some dejected fellow buddy, some kind of a trick created for little miss goody-two shoes or is it my sadistic brain going on in insane circles around all the little things that I actually did manage to somehow pass in my life ?

Hmmm, I wonder …….

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What was I ever thinking?

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So usually my mom is like, I am the most irrational shopper ever to exist, and maybe she is true, I am the kind of a person, who once, when makes a decision to buy something, just get Gaga over the thing in question, and absolutely has to get that thing and is just short of a laying-on-the-floor-and-kicking sort of tantrum away from embarassing my mom. Don’t take me to shop with you unless you want to gift me huge list of stuff I would later bury in some deep, dark crevice of my wardrobe. So I thought, let’s make a list of all such stuff. This list is in no particular order:

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1. The fancy tiara:
Yes, absolutely this is exactly what you see, and I am going to blame it all on the Princess Diary series by Meg Cabot, well, not quite so. I had this obsession, a little evil post teenage kind of obsession with being a princess, for no evident reason I guess, and it passed with time like that time when I had a crush on Aragorn from Lords of the ring. My cousin mostly blame it on my need to gain attention from my family and all that jazz, and I guess it was just a phase we all go through, thanks to Disney. So the story is, I bought this from an accessory shop and I told my mother that a princess needs to have her tiara to which she rolled her eyes but never the less, humored me. My siblings, both a 9 or so years older than me, laughed their heads off and made me very offended, but I guess that is what siblings do.

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2. The extra thick crafting book:

This I would blame on both shopping online and a furious rage upon my cousins who live abroad. Somehow shopping online is much more attractive, it adds an extra shine to each product and thanks to Photoshop and DSLRs all around. What is lacks in physically touching the product and then buying, it makes up for in the attractive pictures and all. Secondly I had this rage on my relatives abroad who are always like, What do you guys need from here? and all, but bring all kind of useless and even used stuff. This time I was like, I have to ask for something substantial, enough with the free concealer samples, cocoa butter lotions and nude lipsticks which I throw straight in the dustbins. During this time I was very much into crafting notebooks and thus I ordered this gaint sized crafting book and well, my passions never last more than a few months and now I am always wondering, what to do this piece of absolute giant-ness.

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3. The Blue wholesale rackets:

Well, I hate the wholesale stores and this is the most ridiculous and the only shopping I ever did from there. I know wonder what I was really really thinking. Yes, I love sports though I hardly play any due to a long list of reasons, and also I have a reasonable lawn to play badminton in but 1) My siblings are like 9 or so years older to me and 2) the one with Y chromosome is at office from 8am to 8pm and thus hardly has the time to play while 3) As it goes I am not at all ambidextrous and 4) never played the game before and thus have no experience, so all in all, what a stupid thing to do. (Mom advised against it strongly)

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4. The pink thing:

This is a remarkable case of chromosome X obsession with the colour pink, more than anything. There is this friend of mine, who use 4 to 5 of these in a year, (usually because she sweats a lot and thus has to tap her face after every session with the sponge, according to her) and I just fell in love with the cute pink thing and I asked her to buy me one too. And it has been two years atleast since I had it and its hardly used because I am not a very face powder kind of a person. Maybe I will gift it to one of my nieces or something.

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5. The Black Book:

I don’t know why I indulge in this crappy saga of twilight books now, maybe because at that time, it was a very in thing! I decided to buy the book in its original form and not the pirated one, and well it cost me quite some bucks and I had already read the book online and well, never even open it and thus it is the most neat and creaseless novel among my collection of novels.

 

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6. The dictionary:

This I will solely blame my teacher for and you can see the dust open it to know exactly that it is the least used of all my things. We were each asked that it would be really good if we bought french dictionary and it would enhance our vocabulary and all. To cut it short, the poor thing only was opened twice or thrice, and really what was the need when we were never required to use it in the class and at home, we all ofcourse had Google.

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7. The tees:

Whenever we had to choose between different business competitions and events to attend, my friends used to ask,1) will there be dinner? 2) How are the guest speaker like? 3) what are the timings? and 4) how much will it cost? and my only question is 1) Will there be tees particular to the events? Well I love to collect tees and go to events which will provide me with one, even though I hardly ever wear tees except at nighttime during the worst summer night with pajamas.

The confession of a sitter

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Have you ever been steamed and heated like a chicken about to be served on a platter? Well, if you haven’t, let me narrate the exact details to you.

I go to my university through a van allocated particularly for that purpose and I am the last person to be on the van so I get to sit on the “Hot Seat” also known to the muggles as “the engine seat”.

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You can witness all the people in the van, sniggering at me and enjoying my extreme awkwardness at this particular sitting arrangement.

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The engine seat after sometime would get really hot! I could actually feel the heat emanating from the seat and soon it was too hot to be bearable. I could almost see in my mind’s eye, my muscles flinching while my leg cells sizzle and I can imagine a legless me, wriggling like a snail and I can’t take it more so I go all crazy!

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I seemed like a character right out of an apocalyptic movie and several people came out of their inception like stupor to watch and then continue to drool on whilst sleeping.

Whilst the Freshies (Freshmen) near me, took the cue as if I was Vanessa freaking Hudgen and started chanting like it was a scene of HSM in their ludicrously amusing voices “I am hot”. In their minds, these minions were trying to make me more embarrassed, so they could avenge the shame brought upon them through ragging.

Well I huffed and puffed all I could but, I had no choice but to let my leg sizzle and the pain fizzle.

The next day, I had two choices:

  1. To walk the hall of shame again like a damn wallflower
  2. Change the damn van!

So obviously I took the third choice woke up early, ask my father to drive me to a friend house and grab a better seat to save myself from a sure leg amputation. Next time, I stared down the freshie who had to sit on the engine sit, with the biggest damn sneer ever!!! She never lived to tell the tale really 😀

The not so subtle reverse psychology

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You know how they say, reverse psychology does wonders and all, I am now gonna try it on all of you:

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Let’s see now:

how many rebellious soul are out there, in this world?

The self doubting greater self

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Often when people like my posts and stuff, there is a sudden outburst by my more skeptical self, especially created for the purpose of disseminating subtle amount of panic, that it was just a major bout of returning the favour. When people like my stuff after I have already liked theirs, my skeptic self visualizes the situation/people as follows:

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While my real self visualizes it as:

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So in the aftermath of this greater conflict, I’m often left with something like this:

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I hope that there was some more predictable way of settling this debate between my two idle selves because then it becomes quite the food for thought thing and then it is restricted not only to the brain part, but travels all the way to my stomach and then, Well, Let’s not get there because it then goes something like:
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The list part 1 (When I am bored)

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Its strange really how I have the uncanny ability to annihilate my mind in thinking what I ought to do When i am bored! We often say we had bored ourselves to death, and yet our soul linger behind to whisper that to those who are in their own great worlds, oblivious to our state of maddeningly delusional boredom! umm well I didn’t plan to go all haywire just now, but it comes easy to me when I am bored! So here is my way of coping up with it:

1. Visit the fridge, Scan through for anything! ANYTHING to save my soul! You know a true foodie finds ultimate pleasure in food!

2. I mentally go through a small lists of friends, who I can bore with my rants (OR NOT) because let’s face it, you don’t want them collecting the cheque of this favor ever, esp when they are medical junkies!

3. I go, and, HAUNT the conversations going on between these people on my timelines on social networking site! Oh man! The bliss of being a stalker, and then for giving them the extra chills, I like or favorite random things they say! (SO FAR, SO GOOD) 😉

4. I update my blog, with a post! Anything to keep the likes coming MAN!

5. I take out my secret diary, and it is a quick thing because i hardly wrote anything much, except about a crushes or two, or who was with whom, and who did what kind of stuff. You know, Actually, it takes more time to hide that diary back under layers and layers of books and stuff really!

6. I go through the slam book that I made, and read the comments of the only sane cousin I have and take pleasure in his philosophical musings so much, I have already memorized most of his answers, but none-the-less, its always fun.

7. I watch a good chick-flick or I go on a heavy dose of songs (the sad ones and keep them on repeat mode for extra effects)!

TEEhaaa! Did I not mention I read novels as well, but i guess, so much dramatics is enough for now! 🙂

Tell me how is this list on a scale of 1 to 10 🙂 1 being cool and 10 being excellente! 😀